I Still Love You But I Should Realize

Can you lie your heart? Does it succeed? I can’t run to hide from my feeling. How hard I try to forget her but she will come to my mind when I meet her. And the fact is it’s impossible to get her for me. Am I poor enough? I think yeah. Then, love is not about desire, love is always thinking someone even when you don’t want to do it. Stop? Not yet. Love isn’t such simple. It’s complicated. I am and may be most people think so. There is no certainty in love, always unpredictable and mysterious.

How many times do you ever feel in love? The answer may vary. I myself ever feel this twice. First when I was at Senior High School. I found a girl making my feeling always think about her, I wanted to be closed with her every time, I always wanted to know what she felt, I was happy to think about her. And that feeling goes till now. I’ve been successful to forget her from my mind. She has becomes a queen on my mind. Then the second, I feel the same feeling as I felt when I was at Senior High School. A girl stealing my concern. She reminded me to a girl I’d loved before. [sigh]... is this normal to love two girl? Yes or No I can lie my feeling, this is what I am feeling now.

Then after you read my statement, you may have a question. “Have you ever told your feeling to girl you love?”. I think that’s the point you want me to answer. “Of course I’ve”. But the condition and the fortune hasn’t been on me. I failed both. I can tell you “why”. But although I failed my feeling isn’t lost. My feeling is still with her. “Her” I mean is one of them.

Now, though I can’t forget my feeling I realize that it is not good to be a melankolis too long. I should think reasonable that a new love is waiting for me. A better one is for me, I also should prepare for the new one. Many things I want to pursue. My dream, my future.

Day by day, I feel stupider than before. The more I learn about anything the more I feel I’ve not known. No sight will I get if I don’t do anything. I am in need of improving more than before. To make my dream comes true, to make my parents are proud of me, to make people around me happy. There is no better happiness than those. God Shiva is always with me, He will show me the right way... Thanks for everything God, I stand sincerely before You...

Do you think this writing does not comply with the title? I myself think so, haha, this I write to satisfy my desire in writing, write anything on my mind... see you in the next posting...